Beans, Cheap but Stupid (But not so stupid that you shouldn't make them)

You know, I've never REALLY made beans till yesterday. Of course I have taken them out of a can and have thrown them in a pot, but that's not the cheapest way to eat them. If you look in your local grocery store, you could usually find them in an isle where you find rice, (they do go hand in hand after all,) and they are dried up and in a bag. The good news is, they get twice as big as you see them right then and there. The bad is that they take FOREVER to make. I have come to find that the best way to make them is to throw them in a crock-pot with some water in the morning, put on low and don't even think of the little buggers for hours. Because they will not cook fast and will piss you off if you want them to. The point is, it's cheap, so grab your beans and make your rice and survive like the survivor you are!

Now, some beans are bland and boring and it's hard to eat if you grew up like me, use to flavor and in need of something to pet you on the palette. Yesterday, while I was preparing my white beans for a night time feast, I first chopped up some onions into tiny pieces and threw in some of my frozen corn. For another little zap, I put in half a cup of white wine. Now I know some of you munchkins aren't 21 yet and might even be law abiding citizens that would NEVER pay a friend to get you the booze you are too young to have in your possession, but you still want that beautiful flavor of wine. Guess what! You can still get that flavor, AND you can get it LEGALLY. If you go to the isle in the grocery store where you find oils and vinegar, you can find both red and white wine vinegar. It's alcohol free, so the store can sell it to you with out the added effort and pressure of getting that fake I.D. you have no need for.

Great, another problem? You don't own a crock-pot? Man, you are making things very difficult right now. But FINE, whatever. If you don't have a crock-pot, you can use a regular pot and simmer on low heat (2 if you have numbers on your stove) all day, but if you use the stove, make sure you or someone else will be home all day to make sure the house doesn't catch fire. You never know when that earthquake is going to suddenly hit your general area because the tectonic plate your dorm/apartment is sitting on suddenly broke in half and that flammable thing sitting in the cabinet above the stove flies open (in the earthquake) and falls right onto the burner, thus catching itself, and the rest of your place, on fire. Most roommates don't like it when you catch your place on fire. In fact, in many cases, some will decide that they no longer want to live with you for that reason.

There, that's a little tip on how to make the cheapest of cheap. I'll come up with other things that are in the "cheapest of cheap" category so you're not stuck with the same old things. Once we're in the Fall of 2012, I should be making videos, so whatever is on this blog, it will end up in video form in less than a year.

Just to reiterate the bean making process, and make it more clear:
1. Get bag of beans.
2. Pour as many beans as you want to prepare into crock-pot (or regular pot because someone will be home all day).
3. Put enough water in to submerge all beans.
4. Give them a quick stir then turn the crock-pot on low or the stove top to simmer (2 for numbers).
5. Walk away and do things all day like a champ.
6. Come back eight or so hours later.
7. Using a spoon or fork, fish out a bean, give it a good blow to cool it down.
8. Eat said bean. If the bean is still to hard, let them simmer longer, maybe an hour or two. If the bean is too mushy, eat it anyway. You're broke as is, and you learned a lesson not to let your beans cook so long.
9. When beans are ready, rinse them with hot water.
10. Serve and eat beans.

Yay! You did it!
Now for flavor:
Chop onions for, preferably matching colors. So white beans get white and/or yellow onions, red and black beans get red onions, blah blah blah. It's not only to make the food look pretty, but also this tends to taste better. Add onions for step 2 and frozen, canned, or flesh corn if you'd like. If you have your wine or wine vinegar, pour it in before you add water for step 3. The color of wine should also match the food. Do everything else the same and you'll have some delicious beans to devour.

If there is something that's still not clear, leave your question in the comments.
Also, leave any suggestions for what you want me to cook or talk about in future blogs.
Talk to you guys, soon!